i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
