:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
