I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
