people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
