I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
