I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
