I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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