I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
She tied me up with her honor cords...
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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