I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
where are you?
Hypothermia
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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