What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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