What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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