I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
