oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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