There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
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