You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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