I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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