it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
