And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
