I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize