no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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