Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Randomize
