I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
