I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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