i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
i think i just lost a toe
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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