we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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