Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
