and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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