i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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