I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
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They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
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