her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I want a musical about memes.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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