I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
