I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
