try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
