big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
