things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
where am i from again
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
So much Jack, so little girl.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
