Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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