Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Randomize
