talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
