My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
