so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
