Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Alive.
So much puke
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
