I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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