Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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