Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
