Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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