The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize