How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize