38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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