is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Drunk is a universal language darling
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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