White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
