hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
