I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
