margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Randomize
