The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
3 2 1 whiskey
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
