I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
