I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize