Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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