Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
