Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
it's like heaven, but drunker
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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