Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
