I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
